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FEELING FEELINGS

Feelings
I love sitting at my writing desk, wrapped in the peaceful sanctuary of the Nevada desert. It is a special time for me to reflect on some of my feelings, dreams and goals. It is so different from my early years in Missouri where any display of emotion was met with opposition ranging from mild disdain to utter intolerance. This was a farm, for heaven’s sake. How far could we go in life if we couldn’t lop the head off a turkey and see it flog the ground in its death throes before meeting its proper destiny—to feed the human race. After all, that’s what animals were put here for…to feed us and clothe us, right?

In the hierarchy of the Missouri farm, everything had a purpose and a place. Sex was for having young’uns who would try to wrest another fifty years of crops out of the soil when we were gone. Nature was put here to serve us, and for us to rise above. Conventional wisdom was the mortar that held the bits and pieces of culture into rigid order and pattern.

Except that those notions are all a bunch of hogwash! The ancient Greeks discovered stoicism, and it did not prevent their marble halls from crumbling to ruin. At least they endured the fall of their civilization with a stiff upper lip, for all that was worth.
Fortunately, having contracted some therapeutic help, I was able to become reacquainted with my emotions and embrace their warmth and passion. They are a valuable asset that are the pathway to our heart and simply require personal management. Without emotions to express feelings we are robots. Well, who wants to relate with a robot?

This weekend after watching two separate interviews we contributed for the sexual revolution documentary, I felt nostalgic for the good ole days of the 60’s and 70’s. The creation of Sandstone Retreat was a dream I carried with me from childhood. It was a dream formed in nature while walking home from school through the woods and cavorting with other animals. The environment felt so free and the air so light. Never saw a critter having a bad day. It felt as though we were all one without casting any judgment or guilt.

John & I created the perfect natural environment with Sandstone Retreat. Knowing that the environment would mold each and every one of us into it, and eventually members felt comfortable enough to remove their masks and felt a sigh of relief to feel their true nude self. It was a welcome relief to feel acceptance of body, mind, spirit, and at one with each other and the environment. The Sandstone environment washed out all negative thoughts and replaced them with enlightened and positive experiences that will never been forgotten.

LOST LOVE

kamasutraWell over a millennium ago, Indian Hinduism treated sex as an art, a science and a spiritual practice. It was not considered a remnant of some dark and ancient bestial behavior, but rather a civilizing force. As such they wrote extensive treatises on how to elevate their sexual potential.

The most famous pieces of Indian literature on sex are the Kamasutra (aphorisms on love) and the Kamashrastra (from kama “pleasure”, and shastra “skill”). This collection of explicit sexual writings, both spiritual and practical, covered most aspects of human courtship and intercourse. The Kamasutra is thought to have been written in its final form sometime between the third and fifth century AD, a period of Indian history when sex epitomized love, pleasure, synergy and happiness. It was a successful strategy, which begs the question why around the 11th or 12th century, India took a conservative turn toward decreased freedom for women and a proscription against premarital and extramarital sex. They wrote a new sex manual suitable for their new order.

In Jewish law, sex is not considered intrinsically sinful or shameful when conducted in marriage, nor is it a necessary evil for the purpose of procreation. Sex is considered a private and holy act between a husband and wife. The residue of sex (as with any lost bodily fluid) was considered ritually unclean outside the body, and required ablution. Perhaps this is how sex became cast as a dirty act, forming an imprint in our brain that must somehow be removed.

Christianity re-emphasized the Jewish attitudes on sexuality with two new concepts. First, there was the reiterated idea that marriage was absolutely exclusive and indissoluble, placing further guidance on divorce and expanding on the reasons and principles behind those laws.

Second, in Old Testament times marriage was almost universal, in continuity with the total matrimony in Eden, but in the New Testament, the trajectory is extended forward to the goal of no marriage in the new heavens and new earth (see Matthew 22). Practically therefore the new age after Jesus now has marriage as only normative, but celibacy is a valuable gift in and of itself.

In present time, it feels as though our free will and identities have been stolen from us. My understanding from birth has been that each of us has a free spirit and entitled to create and live a chosen fruitful life of discovery, adventure, productivity and happiness, without meddlers and the dictates of a false society. This period of an open attitude towards sex reflects love, pleasure, synergy and happiness in their culture.
It was necessary to have a sexual revolution and the reason we pioneered Sandstone Retreat, which became known as the hub of the sexual revolution.

In 1972 we went so far as to create the Sandstone Movie for viewers to look in on members happily living an alternate lifestyle. It just happened that our principals were in sync with Hindu principals and expression of an open attitude towards sex reflects love, pleasure, synergy and happiness in the culture. The Sandstone Movie (only one of a kind) has been re-released on https://www.indieflix.com site. Just go there register (free) and search for “Sandstone.” Enjoy this rare event.

THE GREAT VEGETABLE REVOLUTION

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PART II
It took an understanding of nature to successfully and practically roll back the tide of gentrification and denaturing we had endured for centuries. And right at the height of the space age with men finally stepping on another heavenly body, a couple who were attuned to nature and its rhythms took yet another small step for a man that would yield another giant leap for mankind. John Williamson and I engineered a new social environment (or a very ancient social environment) focused on an alternate lifestyle that would free us from the masks we were forced to wear. We did not descend into anarchy, we gave control back to the natural order that created and fostered us.

Sandstone movie was first released in 1972 and is the only documentary today that features an alternate lifestyle community of people that desired to simply be themselves and shed the artificiality of living in a smoggy, chaotic and congested city. Included in this blog is the latest re-release information for those with interest in sexuality, multiple relationships and a functional community lifestyle.

“Sandstone” is a thought-provoking window into the heart of the sexual revolution in Southern California in the 1970’s. This legendary mountain top retreat was a fantasy playground for adults and an important social experiment rolled into one. Sandstone is relevant today because it facilitates an open dialogue about the pressure many people still feel from traditional societal expectations about sexuality and what is ‘normal’
About the film:

Filmed in the 1970’s, famed producer, Jonathan Dana’s “Sandstone” has been re-mastered and is making its exclusive worldwide digital premiere on Indie-Flix this week. The company’s goal is to entertain and engage their viewers with a socially relevant conversation about group marriage, relationships and sexuality.

The Cultural Connection:
When “Sandstone” was filmed, the ‘sexual revolution’ was a reaction to the pressure to be ‘normal’ as defined by mainstream society. It was a backlash against the traditional 1950’s lifestyle, in which appearance, perfection, and convention were prized above emotional fulfillment, freedom or growth.

While the term ‘sexual revolution’ generally implies the period from the 1960’s to the late 1970’s, in many ways our society is in the midst of a second wave of sexual liberation and equality. There is an increased acceptance and even celebration of sexual identity, the LGBTQ community and nontraditional relationship dynamics as Polyamory.

Only Nature is humanity’s physical, mental and emotional support system. Nature is trying to teach us to live and discover the persons we are! The shamanic journey teaches us to tap into our “true self” through respect and connections with nature. Getting grounded in our true self opens the pathway to our heart and ability to experience a happy and blissful life.

THE GREAT VEGETABLE REBELLION

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PART I
Still reeling from the title? The sci-fi series “Lost in Space” kept its writers humming for three years with the twin constraints of tight deadlines and low budgets. One day the muses could not be persuaded to give out and the writers took the campiest and shakiest script ever to Irwin Allen for approval. It was an infamous episode where a planet of intelligent plants attacked their human invaders, under the leadership of a giant carrot. Yes, you heard me.

I was having a similar moment with this blog, but I remembered Sigmund Freud’s advice that sometimes a carrot is just a carrot. Instead I went back to an idea that has always fascinated me, one that chased the veggies back into the produce section, nothing less than mankind’s separation from nature. Oh, but you’ll pardon me if I retain the title—it’s just so “out there”.

In ancient times, the rhythms of nature were respected and even worshiped. The Pharaohs used to make offerings to the Nile for its annual flood that covered scant arable land on its banks with a yearly gift of fertile mud. Admittedly this was a chaotic process, and farmers had to erect large carved stones to recognize their own property after the waters settled, but it sustained one of the world’s greatest early civilizations. Now the modern Egyptians look to the Aswan High Dam to “control” nature—which is code for “do what we want you to do when we want you to”—and never mind that the mud now has to be dredged out from the base of the dam where it is a nuisance rather than a blessing.

Ever since men started controlling where and how plants grew and turning wolves into poodles to “improve” them, progress has been associated with distance from nature and its “frightening” irregularities. And this has been nowhere more manifest than the way humans view and control their own sexual expression.

By the Victorian period, the body was tamed and broken like the pony at the carnival that gave up walking in a straight line to keep carrying kids around the circle. Our natural odor was suppressed and substituted with the essence of herbs and flowers (Hey, maybe the vegetables DID win!). “Wind pills” kept us from passing gas. High tea kept our viscera from making rude noises. Every part of our body not approved for public display was covered in layers of impractical and uncomfortable clothing. And most importantly, our manners were refined to the point where sexual attraction had to be carefully and subtly telegraphed to our prospective mate under the watchful eye of a host of chaperones.

There you have it…the pinnacle of human civilization. We used to turn wolves into poodles, then turned our own inner wolf into a powdered, cloth-clad Fi-Fi. Of course something had to give—and it did with the greatest of reluctance. In came the science of Psycho-analysis, and with it the “Flappers” and “Sheiks” who were the first younger generation of many to horrify their folks.

The problem with these new no-holds-barred pleasure seekers is the same problem the hippies would have decades later. They were amateurs. They had overthrown the Victorian order for anarchy. Nature—more to the point HUMAN nature—is anything but anarchy. In fact, under analysis, nature is far more complex in its structures, rhythms, and dependencies than anything mankind has ever created.

THE UNFORGETTABLE TIGRESS

nikilogoSeeing a tiger in the same shared space, breathing the same air, wrapped in the same boundaries, is unforgettable. There is a slight rustle in the undergrowth, then a sudden heart-stopping epiphany of predatory splendor that may last only a moment—though it feels much longer—and after your eyes and those large hazel orbs have locked into a mutual gaze, nature’s battleship sails on through a sea of shrubbery and trees and is lost in the jungle stillness. You are left alive, unmarked yet forever changed.

That’s what a brief encounter does for you. Words are inadequate to describe a life shared with a tiger, but they can give you a slight hint, an inviting aroma such as you might get when passing by a coffee shop that invites you to linger and buy in to the experience.
When Nikki Tigress was only four years old, she had already lived more than most forty-year-old humans. She had been pampered and loved by her human parents in the wilderness of Montana, a wide-open land with mountains and brisk air reminiscent of her Siberian heritage.
Her young caretakers would drive her into the snow covered mountains, where a bevy of photographers would wait to photograph her as she raced down the slopes. Her image appeared in volumes of magazine covers and articles. She was aware on some level of her celebrity, and loved her work. She did not ask for early retirement—it was forced upon her suddenly by a tragic turn of events.

Luckily for me, the emotions running through me as I write are masked by the anonymity of word processing. You cannot see my face, hear the tides of my breath, or feel the tremor in my hands.

Her human family knew their relationship with Nikki was going to be shorter than they wanted, that a tiger’s life rushed past five times as swiftly, bringing the inevitable parting. Yet they did not even get their twenty years with her. It ended on a strip of asphalt with a screech of tires and the rude splash of bent tin and broken glass. The car—and their time with Nikki—was lost.
Human beings have surrounded themselves with technology that can maim or kill in an instant. When the car stopped, his back was broken and her neck was seriously injured. Their doctor told them they would live, but they would never be the same again. They could not be parents to a four hundred pound tigress.

After a heart-wrenching selection process, they chose Tiger Touch Sanctuary as Nikki’s new forever home. They knew we would give her love and attention. It would not be the same life, but it would be a good life. John and I knew we could not take their place, but we could take their space and earn spots in Nikki’s heart alongside the parents she could never forget.

We transported her in a carrier in the pickup bed of a Dodge Diesel truck from Montana back to our place in Nevada, an eighteen hour drive that could only be described as traumatic for everyone involved. It was necessary to drive all night and not expose our new tiger to the outside world.
Tiger Nikki was so bonded with her previous caretakers that only time could heal such deep wound. Nikki was living proof that animals form a bond with humans the same as humans bond with each other. Humans are among the animal species that can form tight bonds with all others living in Nature. Best to accept that we are animals and one with all of Nature!

Nikki settled comfortably into her new home at Tiger Touch and found her new work rather interesting. She studied all the members that came to visit and would decide who she could shock or scare them into wetting their pants. She was—as she had always been—a celebrity. Her new life was being a tiger queen or ambassador and inventing new and scary tricks. She formed new bonds with John and me. We all loved each other very much. She told us all her fears and revealed to us all her needs. We protected her from her fears and filled her needs. We also did something else—we took upon ourselves the unenviable task that once loomed over her parents. We presided over her passage into that spirit realm where brisk breezes and snowy mountainsides always beckon beneath a never-setting sun.

GOLDEN RELATIONSHIPS

Golden Relationships

As I write this, I’m sitting at my desk pondering the self-exile of humans from nature—both Nature with a capital N and human nature. What a sorry state of affairs this is! In a kinder, more sympathetic time we sprang from the fertile soil of Earth, then one day by mutual acclimation we paved over it.

There is an old myth from the Greeks about the giant Antaeus. While some part of him was in contact with his Mother Earth he was continually strengthened and enjoyed invincibility. Hercules, sensing the value of their intimate connection, lifted Antaeus up into the air and strangled him. The moment we turned our back on nature with distain, we created our own Hercules out of our arrogance and self-importance. Beware this monster—he will turn on you.

Our relationships were meant to be pervasive, stretching in all directions, to embrace life in all its grand diversity. We are surrounded by kindred spirits; the ox and owl, the hawk and cheetah, the wolf and lamb. As adaptable creatures, it is our heritage to reach outside of ourselves and form bridges to different viewpoints, different lifestyles, and different loves. What sets us apart as a species is not how much we can separate ourselves from Nature with a Capital N, but rather how fully and consciously we can embrace it. Ours was the golden opportunity to see not just our own thread but to stand back and perceive the whole tapestry, to know the design and our place in it. Instead we tug the threads that fall within our grasp and rapidly destroy a beauty that we fail to understand.

This callous approach to life could not help but erode the beauty and harmony within our own people. Rather than a mighty glacier, we are individual ice cubes held captive in a tray of our own design.

In the work-a-day world about the only consideration I have experienced, is what can we get from one another in this transaction? How much is this person worth to me? Oh my God, we must have lots more potential value that has spilled over into a vacuum! All the possible exchange of caring, compassion, respect and awakenings for a long term relationship are lost in this transaction.

The Sandstone environment spotlighted the almighty need to focus our energy towards creating a natural environment that could enhance awareness and relationships between us. Nothing took center stage that was more important than budding relationships and their vastly personal power.

First, is the need to unleash us from bondage and correct the sexual dysfunction. What followed was the need to begin replacing the old outdated negative program by tearing down the retaining walls in our brain and replace with positive, cleansing thoughts and actions, so we could feel good and respect our mind, body and soul. The task to carry out this matter is best handled through our hearts. Love is the most powerful emotion on earth, love yourself and assure your happiness!

People think freedom, and more importantly, how to achieve it, is difficult. Often people think freedom is measured by a lack of restrictions, take away the prison bars and you are free. But people carry around attitudes, prejudices and assumptions that are their own private prison, and it follows them wherever they go. I want to help people help themselves, to achieve the only freedom really worth having…and that’s a freedom that comes from within.

My beloved spiritual guide

t20430160Ms Peggy Sue Lynx

“Lynx” is a short word full of unusual letters. In short, it’s the perfect name for a compact cat with a great spirit. People ask me if a lynx can be tamed to make a good pet. I tell them that only humans can be tamed, and that is not one of their better qualities. Peggy Sue was never any more my pet than John was, but like John she is a great companion.

Peggy Sue relished being adopted into our family. She inherently knew we were devoted to her personal growth and transformation rather than using her for amusement, affection, or prestige. As our companion, she blossomed and reached her lynxly potential. (If “lynxly” is not a word, I don’t want to know). By her first birthday she had developed several unique performances. Her hat trick, for example, is a surprise without peer and always draws sustained applause. For an especially attentive audience she will often spin rapidly on one foot, much like an ice skater, for a stunning grand finale.

Peggy has always pursued life with a lynx’ passion, impressing people with her personality and spirit. And if this story is to have a moral, as a good story should, it is only that surrounded by grace, love, and dignity, a tiny lynx has adopted these virtues as her own. Peggy Sue has become a far more wonderful being and cherished companion than most of us would ever have thought possible. We hope you may come to appreciate and respect the complex, sensitive nature of this brave, beautiful soul and work to save the remaining wild Lynx.

She has advanced from a loner to a lover. She is the keeper of secrets, while knowing everything she will not tell. She had, what she thought to be a funny looking playmate named Streaker the African Serval love cat.

Streaker assumed the responsibility of teaching Peggy Sue how to play and then to snuggle with him, which was the beginning of teaching her to be a love cat. Well, soon boredom over- shadowed their relationship and suddenly Streaker realized he wanted to lavish his love on us humans and so he did.

He climbed in bed with me each night, parked himself on my pillow, threw his arms (golf club legs) around me and that is the way we slept, until he would tighten his choke hold and I would push him away. That did not bother him because he simply moved over to John and threw his arms around him for the rest of the night. Our little guy (42 pounds) became possessive and when Peggy Sue came to bed he chased her off despite our cry of objection. He screamed, but she doesn’t know anything about love! Everyone should know Servals are the official love cats.

African Servals were plagued with inbreeding that shortened their lives. We suffered heartbreak when Streaker’s maker summoned him to cross over the rainbow bridge. Relief came for Peggy Sue; now she could have a designated place in the bed with us. Our morning ritual was; I would go for a cup of coffee and bring it back to bed, and Peggy Sue would be at my side insisting that I share the aroma of coffee with her. If not, she would swat my cup and splash hot coffee on me. After that she would circle around behind us and pull our hair. Finally she did calm down and snuggle up beside me or curl up in John’s arm pit.

Peggy Sue felt her almighty power when she was able to organize a set time for the three of us to enjoy family hour together. Sometimes we played soft music and other times only solitude. We felt so blessed and enriched while Peggy Sue guided us on an amazing heavenly spiritual journey much like the story we never wanted to end.

To Thine Own Self Be True

We humans have suffered much and the world has suffered alongside us. Much of this pain is rooted in our failure to take an intuitive approach to the essential questions of life, such as:
What is my place in the order of nature?
What is my place in the order of society?
Who am I?
We have been programmed to suppress important components of our individuality, to feel that significant parts of our makeup are shameful, an enemy to ourselves and others. We try to lord ourselves over others; our women, our animals, the other races of man, and nature itself. We take comfort in the notion the entire universe was made solely for our benefit, the only species that really counts. We make rules to keep everyone in their place and everything runs smoothly…or does it?

Take a good look around you. Is anything running smoothly?

The human being is a puzzle, and one of the wonders of nature is the odyssey of personal growth in which a child assembles those pieces and becomes a whole person. Yet we have denied ourselves some of the pieces that we should be fitting into their unique naturally-determined places as part of our growth. The substitute pieces we grab for cannot be forced into these existing holes, so are tacked on elsewhere, an unnatural addition corrupting the unfolding pattern of our nature even more.

John and I were acutely aware of this problem and sought a solution. We began with experiments in recapturing self worth at its source, especially our craving for genuine intimacy and expressive individuality. We discovered that society has two irreconcilable viewpoints on sex, lauding its abstract expression through romantic arts while oppressing its concrete expression through a rigid matrix of social mores. Sex became both a charming notion and a necessary evil. Thus as part of human endeavor least able to fit into a rigid framework that “civilized” society dictates, sexual intimacy is viewed suspiciously as a beast to be controlled, admired when needed but left locked in a cage as we put on our tie, tighten our corsets and try to pretend we’re not members of the animal kingdom.

After we put the first cracks in conventional wisdom that was more conventional than wise, we came to see that the institutionalized repression of human nature was destroying more than interpersonal relationships. Man’s distorted self image threatened the very health of the planet. The same process of self-discovery that fueled Sandstone Foundation could be applied to an urgently needed realignment of our relationship with Planet Earth.

We need to stop seeking fulfillment through the materials we own, the relationships we dominate and the wilderness we subdue. We must seek healthy and interdependent relationships with ourselves, our companions, our communities and our world. We must find more of what we need within ourselves rather than trying to wrest fulfillment by alternative means from the limited resources of nature.

What I learned from pioneering multiple relationships

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Feeling your Feelings
“The fastest way to freedom is to feel your feelings”
-Gita Bellin

Imagine a mirror that in every way is like a fun house mirror, except that its purpose is not to make you laugh—it is to make you weep. Its curves distort nudity into nakedness, desire into lust, friendliness into the slavery of seeking approval, and success into an addiction to work. It was a looking glass curved by ego, bent by culture, warped by shame. I had stared into that mirror far too long, until my inner self had begun to match the unflattering curves of the glass.

Before it was too late, I turned in horror and went in search of the real me. For good, bad, or ugly, I had to find my true face. And it was in rejecting the status quo—more particularly in building with John the sanctuary of Sandstone Resort, that I discovered my authentic and real self. John liked my real face, and he guided me—gently at times, insistently at others—to see it the way he saw it. Nakedness returned to nudity, lust to desire, and the work ethic into a sense of adventure.

We wrested a bit of breathing room away from the prevailing culture, a natural haven that would support a positive, alternate way of living, through the power path to my heart. The heart is five hundred times more powerful than our brain. It is less distracted and more focused.
Choosing to enhance our life experiences to include multiple relationships moved our daily lives into unchartered territory. For me, opening my heart and being honest with more than my primary relationship with John was difficult. We had carefully established trust and a strong bond with one another. Would I be able to trust others where intimacy was involved? Several more unanswered questions arose; can I love more than one person at a time? How will I overcome jealousy, possessiveness and guilt? And finally, how will I grow into a real desirable human being who can live in the present moment? I am an inner-directed person so what others think doesn’t make a lot of difference to me. How I felt surely did matter to my Inner peace.

Since there were not any handbook or guide maps into multiple relationships, John and I set about to invite attractive and quality people, whom we met in our daily course of business, to visit, have discussions and show them our plan. We proposed to create an intimate group that would model an alternate lifestyle. Much like the theoretical concepts that Robert H Rimmer based his novels on, i.e.: The Harrad Experiment and The Rebellion of Yale Marratt. When John and I met up with Robert and shared with him that we were, in actuality, living his futurist novel concepts, he was quite surprised.

We relied on nightly therapeutic, extended family group sessions, to answer some of the same questions that I posed and more. It was necessary to examine old attitudes, perceptions and beliefs to see which ones were relevant and which ones should be tossed. Our sessions were conducted more like a fireside chat in the nude to keep us honest and truthful, with spontaneous sex occurring when the desire arose. The group consisted of three males and four females to keep the ratio of more estrogen to testosterone balance while adding more of a feminine touch and feel.

Our group bonding created synergy and fulfilled the basic needs required to have a stronger primary relationship bond. My dear beloved, John always said if you want to keep a marriage together, create a bigger one.

MY KINSHIP WITH THE WILD

Rocky and NalaLove, like anything natural, never loses its ability to surprise me. It is like a hearty sprig of grass that blossoms in a crack, refusing to let pavement come between earth and sky. With Sandstone Retreat behind me, I never expected to form such intense bonding relationships as I had known, especially with non-human friends. Indeed, I had searched for love until it found me, and chased love until it finally caught me.

After moving into our ten-acre sage brush kingdom in the wild, quiet Nevada desert, I learned the striking difference between solitude and loneliness. Here reigned solitude, an unhurried, uncrowded space where I could lose myself or be found. I was surrounded by many lovely critters going about the business of eating and being eaten. Oh, don’t get me wrong—I’m not being morbid. Indeed, even among the most vulnerable prey species I sensed more vigilance than fear.

Soon I found my place in this brave old world, forming a connection with my neighbors. While I sat outside in the swing; jack rabbits would boldly come within inches of me and gaze right into my eyes. Not exactly sure what they saw but it seemed to be interesting and pleasant for them. It was flattering to me. I cried when a lovely butterfly landed on my arm and found comfort staying for a while.
In our menagerie; were tigers, lions, cougars, lynx and a serval. Queen Nala the lioness came to us when she was five months old and weighed over sixty pounds. She made it clear that she wrote the rule book. She was still young enough and so cute that she insisted on sleeping in bed with people. At five a.m. each morning when it was time for her bed mates to get up and take her outside for her callings, they had better act quickly or meet the consequences.

It took Nala and I quite a bit of time to get our differences worked out. She felt I should be her slave and grant her many requests. She came with much anger over having to take pictures with children when she was a cub to help pay for her support. She never got over it and never liked kids. I became the butt of her anger. She felt it was my job to entertain her. One of her little activities was to have me pull her around in the snow on a shovel. By this time she has put on more pounds and when I fell down pulling her she would run and jump on top of me. The neighbors thought she was killing me and would call the sheriff. It was simply playtime. Soon she was too big to be on the outside of the compound so we put her inside with the bigger cats.

We continued that harassing relationship for about another year until one day we had a non-verbal understanding and chucked it all in the name of love. She no longer had a need to dominate and harass me and all the tension between us was gone. From that moment on she taught me valuable lessons and I showed her love, respect and compassion when she had a heartbreak (failed) relationship. She knew so much more than humans. When we stop thinking and talking we will know everything. God bless these majestic creatures!