As the Nevada sun rouses itself from slumber I’m sitting in my living room jump starting the morning with a cup of coffee and a cuddle with Peggy Sue Lynx. What a way to enjoy the desert solitude! Peggy and I anticipate starting each day with an hour of meditation, interspersed with the intimate, healing sounds of ceremonial drumming which align with my bodily and spiritual rhythms. After seventy five years of searching for this degree of intimacy with nature, I pause to savor the experience. What a terrific feeling!

There are just the two of us now supporting one other. Our other family member and my life partner John joined the spirit world nearly two years ago; Peggy Sue and I have had to muster up all the strength possible. I found a message from John that embellishes our contributions over the span of forty seven years.
“Hello World”

We were—and still are—John and Barbara Williamson, a team that has survived many challenges, including one you speak of in hushed tones that lives under the name of “Death.” Though for now death complicates our relationship, we continue side by side on a wonderful journey that has led us through many realms over the past 47 years.

Together, through Sandstone Retreat and Tiger-Touch we have contributed needed changes within our culture. Some of these changes are still being assimilated. Some will never be. After all, not every grain of wheat lands in fertile soil.

At any rate, we are happy with our contributions. Perhaps in the long run they will be appreciated by others less inclined to investigate on their own.

We feel it only proper to record our most significant finding to date. That discovery determines how we humans bond with one another. Just as important is how we bond with non-human creatures. These bonds determine how much of our lives are spent with connections to the “animal” world and the balance of life on this Earth. That is the only route to “Peace on Earth” as the wise men of old envisioned it.

To read more in depth about our contributions order your copy of my story “An Extraordinary Life” sub: Love, Sex and Commitment at

I have included a link to the N Y Times final tribute to my amazing life partner John Williamson



There are three kinds of happiness: the kind you wish you had, the kind you think you have, and the kind that’s unmistakable. Problem is, those who don’t have happiness are looking for it in all the wrong places, and many who think they are happy are actually pleased—a paltry consolation prize. A feather on the sole of the foot may provoke laughter but it hardly brings joy.

Up until recently it appeared that the advertisers had won. People were looking to establish successful lives through goods and services, or as one writer put it, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” Is that to be our legacy, a tombstone surrounded with the gadgets that failed to add any years to our life or—more to the point—life to our years?

In the early l960’s a brilliant and my late partner, John Williamson ran computer models to determine what was wrong to cause everyone so much unhappiness and discontent? Ultimately his model findings would be the foundation to the creative design of Sandstone Retreat/Foundation, where the focus was belief that our minds, spirits, body and soul were loved and respected.

John determined that we were guided by the chatter inside our heads, a false sense of self that deludes us and which handles our problems by giving them names, namely the ego. We built a society on these false assumptions, either naively or cunningly steered by parents, school, books, film, television, advertising and other people’s feedback. And since most of the people on whom we model our behavior also conduct their lives based on false assumptions, we never learn to know anything different. We went about our lives based upon assumptions rather than real experience.

Upon examination, these assumptions turn out to be out of touch with reality. We say with the authority of tradition, ”Everybody knows that it is so,” or, “It has always been that way.” But if we try to analyze an assumption of this kind it falls apart as soon as we touch it. And that is why we prefer not to touch them and sometimes even fiercely defend them. We poor lemmings continue to leap into the sea, confident that there is land within our reach because, “everyone knows that.”

As a result, we end up living under the pressure of countless false fears. We live in a cage that is of our own making, but one that seems real enough so that we do not venture outside of it. We end up restricting, our actions and our choices, and thus strangle our precious potential. All this because of false fears based upon false assumptions.

The activity of ceremonial drumming is a pathway to the heart, leading us to know our true self. The heart reaches a magnetic field 500 times more powerful than our brain. One hour of drumming registers a huge boost to the immune system, and generates emotions of joy and bliss. It works across all cultural conflicts. Recently Cindy Stevens was in Iraq to revive their spirit. It is touching and you can view her drumming at; and join in to be a part of saving the world.

Meditation is another huge threat to the craziness in our lives. We are blessed with great support while heading into the New Year. May you have an exciting new year!


Big Cat collage 6x9 300dpi color

In “Through the Looking Glass,” Lewis Carroll’s Alice pondered her reflection in the mirror, and that of the room behind her. Everything was the same, yet reversed. Were there other differences in this inverse world? Did each door and window lead to a richer and more fascinating diversity?
I used to think that book was fiction until I looked into my Lynx’s eyes one day and Peggy Sue looked back. I saw myself reflected there, even as I saw the rest of the room behind me. But the Barbara that is reflected in Peggy’s eyes is different, and the deeper I look, the more different she is.

The Barbara that lives in Peggy never grew up on a farm, never meekly took an insult or contented herself with an introspective world that shrank from the harsh touch of life on a farm the way oil shrinks from water. No, that Barbara, despite being a bipedal human, must have slain a rabbit beneath the harvest moon or wrestled passionately with a lovesick stranger in the camphor fragrant pine barrens. And this Barbara seems to look at me with a puckish touch of mischief, ready to take my hand and pull me through the looking glass if I can just leave my baggage behind.

It is at moments like this that I realize her world is civilization. While our Watts and Detroit languish and wither to dust, it is nature who plants another flower for every one plucked, sprouts another sapling by the stump of a mighty monarch. In that world emotions are the spice of life, they are meant to be savored, not hidden behind a porcelain mask of propriety. There are contests, but never wars.

That said, I can only hope that those who follow me will not waste their youthful energies coming as far as I did from the straight rows of corn and their rigid, repressive moral code. I will always be my past, but then again I will always be my future too. It is alright to know that ideality is just as real as disappointment and heartbreak, and that mankind—if it endures—may reach it.
In the meanwhile I have my own routine, and it feeds my soul. Let me share a day with you.

Each day begins for me and Peggy Sue around 5 a .m. in our desert sage bush kingdom. I am tuned into feeling the flow of life, love & happiness while sitting in my living room surroundings with dear and precious Ms Lynx. Breakfast is the first thing on her mind so I quickly get her food then listen while she crunches chicken bones. After that she comes by for a sniff of my coffee.

Myself, I can do with a cup of coffee and a couple glasses of water while I Peer out thru the living room window and imagine my body levitating into the universe and ponder where my meditation journey will take me and what new souls/friends I will meet along the way.
I believe that I have some special offerings for the world. On the other hand maybe it is a figment of my imagination.

Throughout my hour of meditation I feel my own inner feelings of resistance at the thought of entering my office. Feelings of frustration and fear of the cold digital world are seeping through the walls like a dragon and cancels out my wonderful feelings of being human. The crippling effect on my emotions and psyche are very real and places restraint on success promoting my book.

I ask GOD for help! How do I face and erase this fear? Social networks seem devoid of feeling and emotions. I find this distasteful! I know high Tech is here to stay but what about being happy and enjoying daily life. Is there no time to have coffee with a friend and enjoy some meaningful conversation? Oh, that’s old stuff. People seem compelled to write text and push buttons and wait impatiently for a response. I note that hi-tech is controlling people rather than the other way around.

For a long time I have had the deep seated belief that hi-tech is having a crippling effect on humans or perhaps will be the death of humanity. At the very least Robots will steal their survival!

Everyday technology is dominating and dividing us further from communications with one another, as well as developing important relationships, feeling our feelings, and managing our emotions that are necessary to living a healthy and happy life of a real human being.

I call out to my sister on the other side of Peggy’s hazel eyes. She gives me a naughty side glance and the hint of a smile. “Hey Babs, are you going to finish that sausage?” Oh, did I forget to mention that Peggy Sue has projected a few of her vices onto me as well? But that, my friends, is another story.


enlightenmentOn the edge of an exciting new inner world

Missouri is part of what we Americans call the “Midwest.” It used to be the “West” back when pioneers started pushing away from the Atlantic and toward the Pacific. Somewhere along the route from being “West” to “Midwest” that burning spirit died off. Well, not entirely. A few hot coals were left behind and—no thanks to my folks—I was one of them.

I never liked windmills and white picket fences. While other little Missouri girls studied for their M.R.S. degree, I let my imagination run wild, chasing after butterflies and the promises of new horizons.

That pushback to the stifling conditions of my childhood was preparing me for something, though I wasn’t sure what. First I bucked the trend by rejecting out of hand being someone’s “better half” and living a life as “the little woman” who hung laundry, bounced babies, and canned pickles. I got myself involved in the business world, which was enough to raise eyebrows back on the farm. Problem is, there is quite a long distance between the upper eyelid and the hairline, and I managed to push the eyebrows even higher. Yes, I could just imagine what the Ladies League must have been saying about Little Barb and her big city ideas…

I finally found my stride when I became co-creator of Sandstone Foundation. To do that meant this rolling stone had to get rid of any remaining moss. It challenged my every thought and belief system. It was the re-making of Barbara and required me to tear down the retaining walls in my brain that contained so much old programming nonsense. At times the stimulation was overwhelming. Never did I consider myself a radical person. If anything I always felt conservative and had my share of commonsense. My focus was to understand myself and grow into a spectacular “human-being.” My late partner, John, dedicated himself to guiding me to be more human. Now, just let me say that was a big task to correct my alienated soul along with my rowdy rebel nature.

Forty five years ago when many of us first embraced change we were all in uncharted waters. I say thanks to Timothy Leary and friends for their brave march to a new consciousness. We explored ourselves in depth and became certified change agents. Every day with the Sandstone philosophy in tow, we were on a “mission impossible” task. Whoever, came into contact with us changed! Sometime changes registered positive and some showed their destructive nature depending on what was programmed into those retaining walls of their brain.

Soon after the happenings at Sandstone flooded the airwaves we received several phone calls from a Baptist minister advising us that we would burn in hell if we didn’t stop what we were doing. Now bear in mind that the Sandstone setting was private and secluded. We were not in the public’s face. He said there was not a place for sinners like us on the planet.

Well, John invited him to come up to Sandstone and have a fireside chat. The minister readily agreed to do so. After all someone needed to offer us salvation. All the community family members disappeared, leaving just the minister and John to their conversation. The minister was not prepared for such a beautiful Sandstone natural setting for starters. Walking into our warmly decorated living room, which could have been any millionaire’s abode, chilled him out. He sat down on the velvet couch and sort of deflated. Without a doubt, John explained that our course of action was needed for humanity and sexual freedom. When it was time for the minister to leave he shook John’s hand and felt the warmth and sincerity of his explanation and left with the understanding that Sandstone needed to be for the welfare of all. Guess he was satisfied since we never heard from this minister again.

At this moment, we are on the brink of the “last frontier”, exploring our Inner self. If we want to create great relationships we need to allow each other freedom. I have lost my partner but my life continues in an extraordinary fashion. The new meditation system that I use, and is used by many others around the world makes inner discovery and change easier than ever.


We live in a world obsessed by speed and instant gratification. The online retailer is working to raise the bar from overnight shipping to same-day delivery using small, remotely piloted drones. It is almost unthinkable to us that people used to play chess BY MAIL, and that the great cathedrals of Europe were built over several generations.

In a world where beepers and one-hour film developing are no longer fast enough to suit us, we are left wondering how important the slow and serene art of meditation is to our health and well-being. It is critical. Critical is the perfect word since it means that which is of or about a crisis. Look at today’s headlines and ask yourself if we are in anything short of barely controlled anarchy.

Before the 1960s, most westerners saw the art of meditation as a mysterious and arcane practice. They did not know how, and they could not see why. Yet it was the key to filling a very urgent need for serenity, and when Maharishi’s ™ transcendental meditation made the art of contemplation more accessible, it attracted droves of new recruits. Everyone arriving at a gathering was given a beautiful red rose. It was the same message we had been hearing for years long past; it’s time to stop and smell the roses!

We are living in a culture that is driving itself crazy with distractions. We run to the shopping mall and spend money that we do not have in search of ever-elusive happiness. We go out to dinner and overeat or indulge in some sex without intimacy. We are looking for love in all the wrong places. We fool ourselves into thinking we find it by lowering the expectations of what love is. We love our hobbies, we love our favorite food, and having sex—any sex—is making love. I suppose anyone could meet any goal if they set it low enough. John and I liked pasta, we liked our hobbies. When we loved, it was spiritual and grand. Your love should be spiritual and grand as well.

The bottom line: people have lost their ability to stop their brain chatter, talking, talking, and more talking. If you want to be like me, it’s imperative that you set aside time daily to be alone and quiet to receive important messages from within yourself. You are so much more to discover than you realize. As Agnes Repplier said, it is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

In the late 1960’s, when John and I created Sandstone Retreat much engineering went into the creation of this beautiful and natural setting making it seem like a magical mystery tour. It was a brief time in our history, when a crack appeared in our culture’s consciousness. It was time to embrace change! Quiet time was there to be utilized by those that were capable enough to take advantage of it and experience their real self. The crack in the cosmic egg inspired all sorts of, “do your own thing,” activity which you could discover and add your own brand of creativity.

Today with all the advances toward understanding the “Brain” new technology has been developed to aide meditation practices through frequencies that create deep relaxation in the mind. You don’t need to know how to meditate because technology will do it for you. We stand on the edge of an exciting new frontier.