These days people talk more and communicate less. Text messages blaze over wireless networks, and somewhere along the way from phone to phone the words make it through without their original emotional content, and without the reassurance of a smile or a sympathetic nod. Texting is used to fire an employee or even to dump a now-insignificant other. It is to this sort of communication what carpet bombing is to war—a chance to engage your opponent without seeing their look of horror or pain.

Yesterday, while driving through town delivering flyers for my book signing, I tuned into an unusual conversation on the radio about how technology is a distraction and competition to developing close relationships. How ironic that I should be spreading the word about returning to our intimate roots as a people only to have some man break in over invisible radio waves to predict the death of meaningful conversation! Folks, it’s time to shut off the T.V., stereo, computer, laptop, phones and any other tech devices and have some heart to heart talk.

Our world has become a total distraction that prevents us from knowing ourselves and our loved ones. I even see people taking a walk in the park with all of nature’s noise drowned out by their predetermined taste in music blaring through ear buds. Let us borrow an image from a popular seasonal classic, Jacob Marley’s ghost warning Ebenezer Scrooge. Except today’s Scrooges are forging chains of wire, signal strength, and chat windows. They have no idea the weight and length of strong chain they bear!

Knowing what is important to us is a step to filling our personal basic needs. GOD has a good plan for us all, if we just tune in and get the message.
In the 1960’s when we established Sandstone Retreat community of like minded people, at my age of 27, my working knowledge of what it took to have a great relationship was limited and learned on a daily basis, as it was with the other members. We recognized the need for one another to fill in what we were missing. Each of us showed our respect for one another and did not step across their sensitive boundaries. If that did happen a group of people would come down hard on them. Fortunately, at that time, we were free of most of the technical products, a blessing for us. Learning how to relate with others is quite difficult and at the same time, most rewarding. Our true power comes from forming strong relationships, so there-in lies the need for us to establish strong connections.

My friend, Sally Binford an Anthropologist/teacher always said “man is not longed for this world.” Let us try to prove her wrong. I must say my world rattles a little when I see headlines like this one, “The End of Humanity?” Artificial Intelligence could be the end of humanity world-renowned theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking warned this week. He believes that Artificial Intelligence would have the ability to learn and adapt at a far faster rate than humans, “who are limited by slow biological evolution.”

The technological revolution grinds on with robots snatching up the jobs we quickly overlook or take for granted. Combined with the movement to increase minimum wage, robots are going to make it harder for many people to find jobs to survive. This is a real threat!

The sexual revolution in the 60’ and 70’s was more of an imagined threat to old attitudes and perceptions in the mass population. I saw the sexual revolution as offering up a smorgasbord of life’s delicacies to those hungry for pleasure, play and spiritual awakening. Yahoo, to what money cannot buy!


Golden Relationships

As I write this, I’m sitting at my desk pondering the self-exile of humans from nature—both Nature with a capital N and human nature. What a sorry state of affairs this is! In a kinder, more sympathetic time we sprang from the fertile soil of Earth, then one day by mutual acclimation we paved over it.

There is an old myth from the Greeks about the giant Antaeus. While some part of him was in contact with his Mother Earth he was continually strengthened and enjoyed invincibility. Hercules, sensing the value of their intimate connection, lifted Antaeus up into the air and strangled him. The moment we turned our back on nature with distain, we created our own Hercules out of our arrogance and self-importance. Beware this monster—he will turn on you.

Our relationships were meant to be pervasive, stretching in all directions, to embrace life in all its grand diversity. We are surrounded by kindred spirits; the ox and owl, the hawk and cheetah, the wolf and lamb. As adaptable creatures, it is our heritage to reach outside of ourselves and form bridges to different viewpoints, different lifestyles, and different loves. What sets us apart as a species is not how much we can separate ourselves from Nature with a Capital N, but rather how fully and consciously we can embrace it. Ours was the golden opportunity to see not just our own thread but to stand back and perceive the whole tapestry, to know the design and our place in it. Instead we tug the threads that fall within our grasp and rapidly destroy a beauty that we fail to understand.

This callous approach to life could not help but erode the beauty and harmony within our own people. Rather than a mighty glacier, we are individual ice cubes held captive in a tray of our own design.

In the work-a-day world about the only consideration I have experienced, is what can we get from one another in this transaction? How much is this person worth to me? Oh my God, we must have lots more potential value that has spilled over into a vacuum! All the possible exchange of caring, compassion, respect and awakenings for a long term relationship are lost in this transaction.

The Sandstone environment spotlighted the almighty need to focus our energy towards creating a natural environment that could enhance awareness and relationships between us. Nothing took center stage that was more important than budding relationships and their vastly personal power.

First, is the need to unleash us from bondage and correct the sexual dysfunction. What followed was the need to begin replacing the old outdated negative program by tearing down the retaining walls in our brain and replace with positive, cleansing thoughts and actions, so we could feel good and respect our mind, body and soul. The task to carry out this matter is best handled through our hearts. Love is the most powerful emotion on earth, love yourself and assure your happiness!

People think freedom, and more importantly, how to achieve it, is difficult. Often people think freedom is measured by a lack of restrictions, take away the prison bars and you are free. But people carry around attitudes, prejudices and assumptions that are their own private prison, and it follows them wherever they go. I want to help people help themselves, to achieve the only freedom really worth having…and that’s a freedom that comes from within.

Healthy Living in Alternative Lifestyles

There is a greater humanity than the individual can achieve. We were designed to network and cooperate. Our emotional needs would seem the primary cause, yet the real culprit is our species’ greatest strength–diversity. Each of us is a piece of a puzzle, ideally suited to provide a unique contribution to the social fabric of greater humanity. While we are fulfilling that role, we become more than a person. While we shrink from that role, we become less than a person.

Back in 1971, while appearing on the Dick Cavett’s television show I made what was even for him an uncommonly frank statement. From my perspective as a Sandstone alumnus, living in a sexually free community was a banquet that fully satisfied one’s Maslovian needs while most poor souls were starving to death.  The audience responded with disturbing disapproval.  John and I struggled against our society’s reluctance to put the nature back in human nature. For some entrenched and absurd reason, our culture substitutes competition for intimacy, driving a wedge between loving hearts.  Why do we continue in this futile hamster wheel to make a living which at the end of the day is not a life?

Our relationships with one another have been built on false assumptions throughout history, a built-in limit to our potential as social beings.  Traditional relationships are possessive, a quality that makes all secondary relationships competitive, secretive, and discrediting.

Naturally, if secondary relationships are relegated to “cheating,” we are forced to lie to our primary relationship, loving in the shadows and feeling riddled with guilt. End result, scandal, separation, and divorce.  Even if the relationship is not broken, it forever loses its wellspring of renewal—mutual trust and respect.

Look how many high profile people have been swept up in scandals, their lives ultimately destroyed because they were bound to one person who failed to meet their full needs and dared to chafe at the restrictions society demands.

It is human nature to encounter desirable and attractive people throughout our lives.  Christopher Ryan, PHD and author and researcher of “Sex at Dawn” says that humans are hypersexual beings, likening us to the Bonobo monkeys and their communal emotional and sexual relationships.  In looking at how far we have diverged, we see the level of our sexual repression in a mirror crafted by unprejudiced hands…those of Mother Nature.

A positive alternative approach to rectifying this sorry state would be to engage in honest, mature, respectful and open dialogue with your primary bond about how to build your lives together, including new people in the relationship without jeopardizing what you already have.  It is important to show respect towards our partners and protect the relationship rather than risk wasting it on some unknown situation.   Building trust and loving relationships with others delivers each of us real power. Relationships cannot be bought with money!