enlightenmentOn the edge of an exciting new inner world

Missouri is part of what we Americans call the “Midwest.” It used to be the “West” back when pioneers started pushing away from the Atlantic and toward the Pacific. Somewhere along the route from being “West” to “Midwest” that burning spirit died off. Well, not entirely. A few hot coals were left behind and—no thanks to my folks—I was one of them.

I never liked windmills and white picket fences. While other little Missouri girls studied for their M.R.S. degree, I let my imagination run wild, chasing after butterflies and the promises of new horizons.

That pushback to the stifling conditions of my childhood was preparing me for something, though I wasn’t sure what. First I bucked the trend by rejecting out of hand being someone’s “better half” and living a life as “the little woman” who hung laundry, bounced babies, and canned pickles. I got myself involved in the business world, which was enough to raise eyebrows back on the farm. Problem is, there is quite a long distance between the upper eyelid and the hairline, and I managed to push the eyebrows even higher. Yes, I could just imagine what the Ladies League must have been saying about Little Barb and her big city ideas…

I finally found my stride when I became co-creator of Sandstone Foundation. To do that meant this rolling stone had to get rid of any remaining moss. It challenged my every thought and belief system. It was the re-making of Barbara and required me to tear down the retaining walls in my brain that contained so much old programming nonsense. At times the stimulation was overwhelming. Never did I consider myself a radical person. If anything I always felt conservative and had my share of commonsense. My focus was to understand myself and grow into a spectacular “human-being.” My late partner, John, dedicated himself to guiding me to be more human. Now, just let me say that was a big task to correct my alienated soul along with my rowdy rebel nature.

Forty five years ago when many of us first embraced change we were all in uncharted waters. I say thanks to Timothy Leary and friends for their brave march to a new consciousness. We explored ourselves in depth and became certified change agents. Every day with the Sandstone philosophy in tow, we were on a “mission impossible” task. Whoever, came into contact with us changed! Sometime changes registered positive and some showed their destructive nature depending on what was programmed into those retaining walls of their brain.

Soon after the happenings at Sandstone flooded the airwaves we received several phone calls from a Baptist minister advising us that we would burn in hell if we didn’t stop what we were doing. Now bear in mind that the Sandstone setting was private and secluded. We were not in the public’s face. He said there was not a place for sinners like us on the planet.

Well, John invited him to come up to Sandstone and have a fireside chat. The minister readily agreed to do so. After all someone needed to offer us salvation. All the community family members disappeared, leaving just the minister and John to their conversation. The minister was not prepared for such a beautiful Sandstone natural setting for starters. Walking into our warmly decorated living room, which could have been any millionaire’s abode, chilled him out. He sat down on the velvet couch and sort of deflated. Without a doubt, John explained that our course of action was needed for humanity and sexual freedom. When it was time for the minister to leave he shook John’s hand and felt the warmth and sincerity of his explanation and left with the understanding that Sandstone needed to be for the welfare of all. Guess he was satisfied since we never heard from this minister again.

At this moment, we are on the brink of the “last frontier”, exploring our Inner self. If we want to create great relationships we need to allow each other freedom. I have lost my partner but my life continues in an extraordinary fashion. The new meditation system that I use, and is used by many others around the world makes inner discovery and change easier than ever.


kamasutraWell over a millennium ago, Indian Hinduism treated sex as an art, a science and a spiritual practice. It was not considered a remnant of some dark and ancient bestial behavior, but rather a civilizing force. As such they wrote extensive treatises on how to elevate their sexual potential.

The most famous pieces of Indian literature on sex are the Kamasutra (aphorisms on love) and the Kamashrastra (from kama “pleasure”, and shastra “skill”). This collection of explicit sexual writings, both spiritual and practical, covered most aspects of human courtship and intercourse. The Kamasutra is thought to have been written in its final form sometime between the third and fifth century AD, a period of Indian history when sex epitomized love, pleasure, synergy and happiness. It was a successful strategy, which begs the question why around the 11th or 12th century, India took a conservative turn toward decreased freedom for women and a proscription against premarital and extramarital sex. They wrote a new sex manual suitable for their new order.

In Jewish law, sex is not considered intrinsically sinful or shameful when conducted in marriage, nor is it a necessary evil for the purpose of procreation. Sex is considered a private and holy act between a husband and wife. The residue of sex (as with any lost bodily fluid) was considered ritually unclean outside the body, and required ablution. Perhaps this is how sex became cast as a dirty act, forming an imprint in our brain that must somehow be removed.

Christianity re-emphasized the Jewish attitudes on sexuality with two new concepts. First, there was the reiterated idea that marriage was absolutely exclusive and indissoluble, placing further guidance on divorce and expanding on the reasons and principles behind those laws.

Second, in Old Testament times marriage was almost universal, in continuity with the total matrimony in Eden, but in the New Testament, the trajectory is extended forward to the goal of no marriage in the new heavens and new earth (see Matthew 22). Practically therefore the new age after Jesus now has marriage as only normative, but celibacy is a valuable gift in and of itself.

In present time, it feels as though our free will and identities have been stolen from us. My understanding from birth has been that each of us has a free spirit and entitled to create and live a chosen fruitful life of discovery, adventure, productivity and happiness, without meddlers and the dictates of a false society. This period of an open attitude towards sex reflects love, pleasure, synergy and happiness in their culture.
It was necessary to have a sexual revolution and the reason we pioneered Sandstone Retreat, which became known as the hub of the sexual revolution.

In 1972 we went so far as to create the Sandstone Movie for viewers to look in on members happily living an alternate lifestyle. It just happened that our principals were in sync with Hindu principals and expression of an open attitude towards sex reflects love, pleasure, synergy and happiness in the culture. The Sandstone Movie (only one of a kind) has been re-released on https://www.indieflix.com site. Just go there register (free) and search for “Sandstone.” Enjoy this rare event.

To Thine Own Self Be True

We humans have suffered much and the world has suffered alongside us. Much of this pain is rooted in our failure to take an intuitive approach to the essential questions of life, such as:
What is my place in the order of nature?
What is my place in the order of society?
Who am I?
We have been programmed to suppress important components of our individuality, to feel that significant parts of our makeup are shameful, an enemy to ourselves and others. We try to lord ourselves over others; our women, our animals, the other races of man, and nature itself. We take comfort in the notion the entire universe was made solely for our benefit, the only species that really counts. We make rules to keep everyone in their place and everything runs smoothly…or does it?

Take a good look around you. Is anything running smoothly?

The human being is a puzzle, and one of the wonders of nature is the odyssey of personal growth in which a child assembles those pieces and becomes a whole person. Yet we have denied ourselves some of the pieces that we should be fitting into their unique naturally-determined places as part of our growth. The substitute pieces we grab for cannot be forced into these existing holes, so are tacked on elsewhere, an unnatural addition corrupting the unfolding pattern of our nature even more.

John and I were acutely aware of this problem and sought a solution. We began with experiments in recapturing self worth at its source, especially our craving for genuine intimacy and expressive individuality. We discovered that society has two irreconcilable viewpoints on sex, lauding its abstract expression through romantic arts while oppressing its concrete expression through a rigid matrix of social mores. Sex became both a charming notion and a necessary evil. Thus as part of human endeavor least able to fit into a rigid framework that “civilized” society dictates, sexual intimacy is viewed suspiciously as a beast to be controlled, admired when needed but left locked in a cage as we put on our tie, tighten our corsets and try to pretend we’re not members of the animal kingdom.

After we put the first cracks in conventional wisdom that was more conventional than wise, we came to see that the institutionalized repression of human nature was destroying more than interpersonal relationships. Man’s distorted self image threatened the very health of the planet. The same process of self-discovery that fueled Sandstone Foundation could be applied to an urgently needed realignment of our relationship with Planet Earth.

We need to stop seeking fulfillment through the materials we own, the relationships we dominate and the wilderness we subdue. We must seek healthy and interdependent relationships with ourselves, our companions, our communities and our world. We must find more of what we need within ourselves rather than trying to wrest fulfillment by alternative means from the limited resources of nature.

What I learned from pioneering multiple relationships


Feeling your Feelings
“The fastest way to freedom is to feel your feelings”
-Gita Bellin

Imagine a mirror that in every way is like a fun house mirror, except that its purpose is not to make you laugh—it is to make you weep. Its curves distort nudity into nakedness, desire into lust, friendliness into the slavery of seeking approval, and success into an addiction to work. It was a looking glass curved by ego, bent by culture, warped by shame. I had stared into that mirror far too long, until my inner self had begun to match the unflattering curves of the glass.

Before it was too late, I turned in horror and went in search of the real me. For good, bad, or ugly, I had to find my true face. And it was in rejecting the status quo—more particularly in building with John the sanctuary of Sandstone Resort, that I discovered my authentic and real self. John liked my real face, and he guided me—gently at times, insistently at others—to see it the way he saw it. Nakedness returned to nudity, lust to desire, and the work ethic into a sense of adventure.

We wrested a bit of breathing room away from the prevailing culture, a natural haven that would support a positive, alternate way of living, through the power path to my heart. The heart is five hundred times more powerful than our brain. It is less distracted and more focused.
Choosing to enhance our life experiences to include multiple relationships moved our daily lives into unchartered territory. For me, opening my heart and being honest with more than my primary relationship with John was difficult. We had carefully established trust and a strong bond with one another. Would I be able to trust others where intimacy was involved? Several more unanswered questions arose; can I love more than one person at a time? How will I overcome jealousy, possessiveness and guilt? And finally, how will I grow into a real desirable human being who can live in the present moment? I am an inner-directed person so what others think doesn’t make a lot of difference to me. How I felt surely did matter to my Inner peace.

Since there were not any handbook or guide maps into multiple relationships, John and I set about to invite attractive and quality people, whom we met in our daily course of business, to visit, have discussions and show them our plan. We proposed to create an intimate group that would model an alternate lifestyle. Much like the theoretical concepts that Robert H Rimmer based his novels on, i.e.: The Harrad Experiment and The Rebellion of Yale Marratt. When John and I met up with Robert and shared with him that we were, in actuality, living his futurist novel concepts, he was quite surprised.

We relied on nightly therapeutic, extended family group sessions, to answer some of the same questions that I posed and more. It was necessary to examine old attitudes, perceptions and beliefs to see which ones were relevant and which ones should be tossed. Our sessions were conducted more like a fireside chat in the nude to keep us honest and truthful, with spontaneous sex occurring when the desire arose. The group consisted of three males and four females to keep the ratio of more estrogen to testosterone balance while adding more of a feminine touch and feel.

Our group bonding created synergy and fulfilled the basic needs required to have a stronger primary relationship bond. My dear beloved, John always said if you want to keep a marriage together, create a bigger one.