As the Nevada sun rouses itself from slumber I’m sitting in my living room jump starting the morning with a cup of coffee and a cuddle with Peggy Sue Lynx. What a way to enjoy the desert solitude! Peggy and I anticipate starting each day with an hour of meditation, interspersed with the intimate, healing sounds of ceremonial drumming which align with my bodily and spiritual rhythms. After seventy five years of searching for this degree of intimacy with nature, I pause to savor the experience. What a terrific feeling!

There are just the two of us now supporting one other. Our other family member and my life partner John joined the spirit world nearly two years ago; Peggy Sue and I have had to muster up all the strength possible. I found a message from John that embellishes our contributions over the span of forty seven years.
“Hello World”

We were—and still are—John and Barbara Williamson, a team that has survived many challenges, including one you speak of in hushed tones that lives under the name of “Death.” Though for now death complicates our relationship, we continue side by side on a wonderful journey that has led us through many realms over the past 47 years.

Together, through Sandstone Retreat and Tiger-Touch we have contributed needed changes within our culture. Some of these changes are still being assimilated. Some will never be. After all, not every grain of wheat lands in fertile soil.

At any rate, we are happy with our contributions. Perhaps in the long run they will be appreciated by others less inclined to investigate on their own.

We feel it only proper to record our most significant finding to date. That discovery determines how we humans bond with one another. Just as important is how we bond with non-human creatures. These bonds determine how much of our lives are spent with connections to the “animal” world and the balance of life on this Earth. That is the only route to “Peace on Earth” as the wise men of old envisioned it.

To read more in depth about our contributions order your copy of my story “An Extraordinary Life” sub: Love, Sex and Commitment at

I have included a link to the N Y Times final tribute to my amazing life partner John Williamson



These days people talk more and communicate less. Text messages blaze over wireless networks, and somewhere along the way from phone to phone the words make it through without their original emotional content, and without the reassurance of a smile or a sympathetic nod. Texting is used to fire an employee or even to dump a now-insignificant other. It is to this sort of communication what carpet bombing is to war—a chance to engage your opponent without seeing their look of horror or pain.

Yesterday, while driving through town delivering flyers for my book signing, I tuned into an unusual conversation on the radio about how technology is a distraction and competition to developing close relationships. How ironic that I should be spreading the word about returning to our intimate roots as a people only to have some man break in over invisible radio waves to predict the death of meaningful conversation! Folks, it’s time to shut off the T.V., stereo, computer, laptop, phones and any other tech devices and have some heart to heart talk.

Our world has become a total distraction that prevents us from knowing ourselves and our loved ones. I even see people taking a walk in the park with all of nature’s noise drowned out by their predetermined taste in music blaring through ear buds. Let us borrow an image from a popular seasonal classic, Jacob Marley’s ghost warning Ebenezer Scrooge. Except today’s Scrooges are forging chains of wire, signal strength, and chat windows. They have no idea the weight and length of strong chain they bear!

Knowing what is important to us is a step to filling our personal basic needs. GOD has a good plan for us all, if we just tune in and get the message.
In the 1960’s when we established Sandstone Retreat community of like minded people, at my age of 27, my working knowledge of what it took to have a great relationship was limited and learned on a daily basis, as it was with the other members. We recognized the need for one another to fill in what we were missing. Each of us showed our respect for one another and did not step across their sensitive boundaries. If that did happen a group of people would come down hard on them. Fortunately, at that time, we were free of most of the technical products, a blessing for us. Learning how to relate with others is quite difficult and at the same time, most rewarding. Our true power comes from forming strong relationships, so there-in lies the need for us to establish strong connections.

My friend, Sally Binford an Anthropologist/teacher always said “man is not longed for this world.” Let us try to prove her wrong. I must say my world rattles a little when I see headlines like this one, “The End of Humanity?” Artificial Intelligence could be the end of humanity world-renowned theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking warned this week. He believes that Artificial Intelligence would have the ability to learn and adapt at a far faster rate than humans, “who are limited by slow biological evolution.”

The technological revolution grinds on with robots snatching up the jobs we quickly overlook or take for granted. Combined with the movement to increase minimum wage, robots are going to make it harder for many people to find jobs to survive. This is a real threat!

The sexual revolution in the 60’ and 70’s was more of an imagined threat to old attitudes and perceptions in the mass population. I saw the sexual revolution as offering up a smorgasbord of life’s delicacies to those hungry for pleasure, play and spiritual awakening. Yahoo, to what money cannot buy!


enlightenmentOn the edge of an exciting new inner world

Missouri is part of what we Americans call the “Midwest.” It used to be the “West” back when pioneers started pushing away from the Atlantic and toward the Pacific. Somewhere along the route from being “West” to “Midwest” that burning spirit died off. Well, not entirely. A few hot coals were left behind and—no thanks to my folks—I was one of them.

I never liked windmills and white picket fences. While other little Missouri girls studied for their M.R.S. degree, I let my imagination run wild, chasing after butterflies and the promises of new horizons.

That pushback to the stifling conditions of my childhood was preparing me for something, though I wasn’t sure what. First I bucked the trend by rejecting out of hand being someone’s “better half” and living a life as “the little woman” who hung laundry, bounced babies, and canned pickles. I got myself involved in the business world, which was enough to raise eyebrows back on the farm. Problem is, there is quite a long distance between the upper eyelid and the hairline, and I managed to push the eyebrows even higher. Yes, I could just imagine what the Ladies League must have been saying about Little Barb and her big city ideas…

I finally found my stride when I became co-creator of Sandstone Foundation. To do that meant this rolling stone had to get rid of any remaining moss. It challenged my every thought and belief system. It was the re-making of Barbara and required me to tear down the retaining walls in my brain that contained so much old programming nonsense. At times the stimulation was overwhelming. Never did I consider myself a radical person. If anything I always felt conservative and had my share of commonsense. My focus was to understand myself and grow into a spectacular “human-being.” My late partner, John, dedicated himself to guiding me to be more human. Now, just let me say that was a big task to correct my alienated soul along with my rowdy rebel nature.

Forty five years ago when many of us first embraced change we were all in uncharted waters. I say thanks to Timothy Leary and friends for their brave march to a new consciousness. We explored ourselves in depth and became certified change agents. Every day with the Sandstone philosophy in tow, we were on a “mission impossible” task. Whoever, came into contact with us changed! Sometime changes registered positive and some showed their destructive nature depending on what was programmed into those retaining walls of their brain.

Soon after the happenings at Sandstone flooded the airwaves we received several phone calls from a Baptist minister advising us that we would burn in hell if we didn’t stop what we were doing. Now bear in mind that the Sandstone setting was private and secluded. We were not in the public’s face. He said there was not a place for sinners like us on the planet.

Well, John invited him to come up to Sandstone and have a fireside chat. The minister readily agreed to do so. After all someone needed to offer us salvation. All the community family members disappeared, leaving just the minister and John to their conversation. The minister was not prepared for such a beautiful Sandstone natural setting for starters. Walking into our warmly decorated living room, which could have been any millionaire’s abode, chilled him out. He sat down on the velvet couch and sort of deflated. Without a doubt, John explained that our course of action was needed for humanity and sexual freedom. When it was time for the minister to leave he shook John’s hand and felt the warmth and sincerity of his explanation and left with the understanding that Sandstone needed to be for the welfare of all. Guess he was satisfied since we never heard from this minister again.

At this moment, we are on the brink of the “last frontier”, exploring our Inner self. If we want to create great relationships we need to allow each other freedom. I have lost my partner but my life continues in an extraordinary fashion. The new meditation system that I use, and is used by many others around the world makes inner discovery and change easier than ever.


We live in a world obsessed by speed and instant gratification. The online retailer is working to raise the bar from overnight shipping to same-day delivery using small, remotely piloted drones. It is almost unthinkable to us that people used to play chess BY MAIL, and that the great cathedrals of Europe were built over several generations.

In a world where beepers and one-hour film developing are no longer fast enough to suit us, we are left wondering how important the slow and serene art of meditation is to our health and well-being. It is critical. Critical is the perfect word since it means that which is of or about a crisis. Look at today’s headlines and ask yourself if we are in anything short of barely controlled anarchy.

Before the 1960s, most westerners saw the art of meditation as a mysterious and arcane practice. They did not know how, and they could not see why. Yet it was the key to filling a very urgent need for serenity, and when Maharishi’s ™ transcendental meditation made the art of contemplation more accessible, it attracted droves of new recruits. Everyone arriving at a gathering was given a beautiful red rose. It was the same message we had been hearing for years long past; it’s time to stop and smell the roses!

We are living in a culture that is driving itself crazy with distractions. We run to the shopping mall and spend money that we do not have in search of ever-elusive happiness. We go out to dinner and overeat or indulge in some sex without intimacy. We are looking for love in all the wrong places. We fool ourselves into thinking we find it by lowering the expectations of what love is. We love our hobbies, we love our favorite food, and having sex—any sex—is making love. I suppose anyone could meet any goal if they set it low enough. John and I liked pasta, we liked our hobbies. When we loved, it was spiritual and grand. Your love should be spiritual and grand as well.

The bottom line: people have lost their ability to stop their brain chatter, talking, talking, and more talking. If you want to be like me, it’s imperative that you set aside time daily to be alone and quiet to receive important messages from within yourself. You are so much more to discover than you realize. As Agnes Repplier said, it is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

In the late 1960’s, when John and I created Sandstone Retreat much engineering went into the creation of this beautiful and natural setting making it seem like a magical mystery tour. It was a brief time in our history, when a crack appeared in our culture’s consciousness. It was time to embrace change! Quiet time was there to be utilized by those that were capable enough to take advantage of it and experience their real self. The crack in the cosmic egg inspired all sorts of, “do your own thing,” activity which you could discover and add your own brand of creativity.

Today with all the advances toward understanding the “Brain” new technology has been developed to aide meditation practices through frequencies that create deep relaxation in the mind. You don’t need to know how to meditate because technology will do it for you. We stand on the edge of an exciting new frontier.


I love sitting at my writing desk, wrapped in the peaceful sanctuary of the Nevada desert. It is a special time for me to reflect on some of my feelings, dreams and goals. It is so different from my early years in Missouri where any display of emotion was met with opposition ranging from mild disdain to utter intolerance. This was a farm, for heaven’s sake. How far could we go in life if we couldn’t lop the head off a turkey and see it flog the ground in its death throes before meeting its proper destiny—to feed the human race. After all, that’s what animals were put here for…to feed us and clothe us, right?

In the hierarchy of the Missouri farm, everything had a purpose and a place. Sex was for having young’uns who would try to wrest another fifty years of crops out of the soil when we were gone. Nature was put here to serve us, and for us to rise above. Conventional wisdom was the mortar that held the bits and pieces of culture into rigid order and pattern.

Except that those notions are all a bunch of hogwash! The ancient Greeks discovered stoicism, and it did not prevent their marble halls from crumbling to ruin. At least they endured the fall of their civilization with a stiff upper lip, for all that was worth.
Fortunately, having contracted some therapeutic help, I was able to become reacquainted with my emotions and embrace their warmth and passion. They are a valuable asset that are the pathway to our heart and simply require personal management. Without emotions to express feelings we are robots. Well, who wants to relate with a robot?

This weekend after watching two separate interviews we contributed for the sexual revolution documentary, I felt nostalgic for the good ole days of the 60’s and 70’s. The creation of Sandstone Retreat was a dream I carried with me from childhood. It was a dream formed in nature while walking home from school through the woods and cavorting with other animals. The environment felt so free and the air so light. Never saw a critter having a bad day. It felt as though we were all one without casting any judgment or guilt.

John & I created the perfect natural environment with Sandstone Retreat. Knowing that the environment would mold each and every one of us into it, and eventually members felt comfortable enough to remove their masks and felt a sigh of relief to feel their true nude self. It was a welcome relief to feel acceptance of body, mind, spirit, and at one with each other and the environment. The Sandstone environment washed out all negative thoughts and replaced them with enlightened and positive experiences that will never been forgotten.


kamasutraWell over a millennium ago, Indian Hinduism treated sex as an art, a science and a spiritual practice. It was not considered a remnant of some dark and ancient bestial behavior, but rather a civilizing force. As such they wrote extensive treatises on how to elevate their sexual potential.

The most famous pieces of Indian literature on sex are the Kamasutra (aphorisms on love) and the Kamashrastra (from kama “pleasure”, and shastra “skill”). This collection of explicit sexual writings, both spiritual and practical, covered most aspects of human courtship and intercourse. The Kamasutra is thought to have been written in its final form sometime between the third and fifth century AD, a period of Indian history when sex epitomized love, pleasure, synergy and happiness. It was a successful strategy, which begs the question why around the 11th or 12th century, India took a conservative turn toward decreased freedom for women and a proscription against premarital and extramarital sex. They wrote a new sex manual suitable for their new order.

In Jewish law, sex is not considered intrinsically sinful or shameful when conducted in marriage, nor is it a necessary evil for the purpose of procreation. Sex is considered a private and holy act between a husband and wife. The residue of sex (as with any lost bodily fluid) was considered ritually unclean outside the body, and required ablution. Perhaps this is how sex became cast as a dirty act, forming an imprint in our brain that must somehow be removed.

Christianity re-emphasized the Jewish attitudes on sexuality with two new concepts. First, there was the reiterated idea that marriage was absolutely exclusive and indissoluble, placing further guidance on divorce and expanding on the reasons and principles behind those laws.

Second, in Old Testament times marriage was almost universal, in continuity with the total matrimony in Eden, but in the New Testament, the trajectory is extended forward to the goal of no marriage in the new heavens and new earth (see Matthew 22). Practically therefore the new age after Jesus now has marriage as only normative, but celibacy is a valuable gift in and of itself.

In present time, it feels as though our free will and identities have been stolen from us. My understanding from birth has been that each of us has a free spirit and entitled to create and live a chosen fruitful life of discovery, adventure, productivity and happiness, without meddlers and the dictates of a false society. This period of an open attitude towards sex reflects love, pleasure, synergy and happiness in their culture.
It was necessary to have a sexual revolution and the reason we pioneered Sandstone Retreat, which became known as the hub of the sexual revolution.

In 1972 we went so far as to create the Sandstone Movie for viewers to look in on members happily living an alternate lifestyle. It just happened that our principals were in sync with Hindu principals and expression of an open attitude towards sex reflects love, pleasure, synergy and happiness in the culture. The Sandstone Movie (only one of a kind) has been re-released on site. Just go there register (free) and search for “Sandstone.” Enjoy this rare event.



It took an understanding of nature to successfully and practically roll back the tide of gentrification and denaturing we had endured for centuries. And right at the height of the space age with men finally stepping on another heavenly body, a couple who were attuned to nature and its rhythms took yet another small step for a man that would yield another giant leap for mankind. John Williamson and I engineered a new social environment (or a very ancient social environment) focused on an alternate lifestyle that would free us from the masks we were forced to wear. We did not descend into anarchy, we gave control back to the natural order that created and fostered us.

Sandstone movie was first released in 1972 and is the only documentary today that features an alternate lifestyle community of people that desired to simply be themselves and shed the artificiality of living in a smoggy, chaotic and congested city. Included in this blog is the latest re-release information for those with interest in sexuality, multiple relationships and a functional community lifestyle.

“Sandstone” is a thought-provoking window into the heart of the sexual revolution in Southern California in the 1970’s. This legendary mountain top retreat was a fantasy playground for adults and an important social experiment rolled into one. Sandstone is relevant today because it facilitates an open dialogue about the pressure many people still feel from traditional societal expectations about sexuality and what is ‘normal’
About the film:

Filmed in the 1970’s, famed producer, Jonathan Dana’s “Sandstone” has been re-mastered and is making its exclusive worldwide digital premiere on Indie-Flix this week. The company’s goal is to entertain and engage their viewers with a socially relevant conversation about group marriage, relationships and sexuality.

The Cultural Connection:
When “Sandstone” was filmed, the ‘sexual revolution’ was a reaction to the pressure to be ‘normal’ as defined by mainstream society. It was a backlash against the traditional 1950’s lifestyle, in which appearance, perfection, and convention were prized above emotional fulfillment, freedom or growth.

While the term ‘sexual revolution’ generally implies the period from the 1960’s to the late 1970’s, in many ways our society is in the midst of a second wave of sexual liberation and equality. There is an increased acceptance and even celebration of sexual identity, the LGBTQ community and nontraditional relationship dynamics as Polyamory.

Only Nature is humanity’s physical, mental and emotional support system. Nature is trying to teach us to live and discover the persons we are! The shamanic journey teaches us to tap into our “true self” through respect and connections with nature. Getting grounded in our true self opens the pathway to our heart and ability to experience a happy and blissful life.



Still reeling from the title? The sci-fi series “Lost in Space” kept its writers humming for three years with the twin constraints of tight deadlines and low budgets. One day the muses could not be persuaded to give out and the writers took the campiest and shakiest script ever to Irwin Allen for approval. It was an infamous episode where a planet of intelligent plants attacked their human invaders, under the leadership of a giant carrot. Yes, you heard me.

I was having a similar moment with this blog, but I remembered Sigmund Freud’s advice that sometimes a carrot is just a carrot. Instead I went back to an idea that has always fascinated me, one that chased the veggies back into the produce section, nothing less than mankind’s separation from nature. Oh, but you’ll pardon me if I retain the title—it’s just so “out there”.

In ancient times, the rhythms of nature were respected and even worshiped. The Pharaohs used to make offerings to the Nile for its annual flood that covered scant arable land on its banks with a yearly gift of fertile mud. Admittedly this was a chaotic process, and farmers had to erect large carved stones to recognize their own property after the waters settled, but it sustained one of the world’s greatest early civilizations. Now the modern Egyptians look to the Aswan High Dam to “control” nature—which is code for “do what we want you to do when we want you to”—and never mind that the mud now has to be dredged out from the base of the dam where it is a nuisance rather than a blessing.

Ever since men started controlling where and how plants grew and turning wolves into poodles to “improve” them, progress has been associated with distance from nature and its “frightening” irregularities. And this has been nowhere more manifest than the way humans view and control their own sexual expression.

By the Victorian period, the body was tamed and broken like the pony at the carnival that gave up walking in a straight line to keep carrying kids around the circle. Our natural odor was suppressed and substituted with the essence of herbs and flowers (Hey, maybe the vegetables DID win!). “Wind pills” kept us from passing gas. High tea kept our viscera from making rude noises. Every part of our body not approved for public display was covered in layers of impractical and uncomfortable clothing. And most importantly, our manners were refined to the point where sexual attraction had to be carefully and subtly telegraphed to our prospective mate under the watchful eye of a host of chaperones.

There you have it…the pinnacle of human civilization. We used to turn wolves into poodles, then turned our own inner wolf into a powdered, cloth-clad Fi-Fi. Of course something had to give—and it did with the greatest of reluctance. In came the science of Psycho-analysis, and with it the “Flappers” and “Sheiks” who were the first younger generation of many to horrify their folks.

The problem with these new no-holds-barred pleasure seekers is the same problem the hippies would have decades later. They were amateurs. They had overthrown the Victorian order for anarchy. Nature—more to the point HUMAN nature—is anything but anarchy. In fact, under analysis, nature is far more complex in its structures, rhythms, and dependencies than anything mankind has ever created.


Golden Relationships

As I write this, I’m sitting at my desk pondering the self-exile of humans from nature—both Nature with a capital N and human nature. What a sorry state of affairs this is! In a kinder, more sympathetic time we sprang from the fertile soil of Earth, then one day by mutual acclimation we paved over it.

There is an old myth from the Greeks about the giant Antaeus. While some part of him was in contact with his Mother Earth he was continually strengthened and enjoyed invincibility. Hercules, sensing the value of their intimate connection, lifted Antaeus up into the air and strangled him. The moment we turned our back on nature with distain, we created our own Hercules out of our arrogance and self-importance. Beware this monster—he will turn on you.

Our relationships were meant to be pervasive, stretching in all directions, to embrace life in all its grand diversity. We are surrounded by kindred spirits; the ox and owl, the hawk and cheetah, the wolf and lamb. As adaptable creatures, it is our heritage to reach outside of ourselves and form bridges to different viewpoints, different lifestyles, and different loves. What sets us apart as a species is not how much we can separate ourselves from Nature with a Capital N, but rather how fully and consciously we can embrace it. Ours was the golden opportunity to see not just our own thread but to stand back and perceive the whole tapestry, to know the design and our place in it. Instead we tug the threads that fall within our grasp and rapidly destroy a beauty that we fail to understand.

This callous approach to life could not help but erode the beauty and harmony within our own people. Rather than a mighty glacier, we are individual ice cubes held captive in a tray of our own design.

In the work-a-day world about the only consideration I have experienced, is what can we get from one another in this transaction? How much is this person worth to me? Oh my God, we must have lots more potential value that has spilled over into a vacuum! All the possible exchange of caring, compassion, respect and awakenings for a long term relationship are lost in this transaction.

The Sandstone environment spotlighted the almighty need to focus our energy towards creating a natural environment that could enhance awareness and relationships between us. Nothing took center stage that was more important than budding relationships and their vastly personal power.

First, is the need to unleash us from bondage and correct the sexual dysfunction. What followed was the need to begin replacing the old outdated negative program by tearing down the retaining walls in our brain and replace with positive, cleansing thoughts and actions, so we could feel good and respect our mind, body and soul. The task to carry out this matter is best handled through our hearts. Love is the most powerful emotion on earth, love yourself and assure your happiness!

People think freedom, and more importantly, how to achieve it, is difficult. Often people think freedom is measured by a lack of restrictions, take away the prison bars and you are free. But people carry around attitudes, prejudices and assumptions that are their own private prison, and it follows them wherever they go. I want to help people help themselves, to achieve the only freedom really worth having…and that’s a freedom that comes from within.

What I learned from pioneering multiple relationships


Feeling your Feelings
“The fastest way to freedom is to feel your feelings”
-Gita Bellin

Imagine a mirror that in every way is like a fun house mirror, except that its purpose is not to make you laugh—it is to make you weep. Its curves distort nudity into nakedness, desire into lust, friendliness into the slavery of seeking approval, and success into an addiction to work. It was a looking glass curved by ego, bent by culture, warped by shame. I had stared into that mirror far too long, until my inner self had begun to match the unflattering curves of the glass.

Before it was too late, I turned in horror and went in search of the real me. For good, bad, or ugly, I had to find my true face. And it was in rejecting the status quo—more particularly in building with John the sanctuary of Sandstone Resort, that I discovered my authentic and real self. John liked my real face, and he guided me—gently at times, insistently at others—to see it the way he saw it. Nakedness returned to nudity, lust to desire, and the work ethic into a sense of adventure.

We wrested a bit of breathing room away from the prevailing culture, a natural haven that would support a positive, alternate way of living, through the power path to my heart. The heart is five hundred times more powerful than our brain. It is less distracted and more focused.
Choosing to enhance our life experiences to include multiple relationships moved our daily lives into unchartered territory. For me, opening my heart and being honest with more than my primary relationship with John was difficult. We had carefully established trust and a strong bond with one another. Would I be able to trust others where intimacy was involved? Several more unanswered questions arose; can I love more than one person at a time? How will I overcome jealousy, possessiveness and guilt? And finally, how will I grow into a real desirable human being who can live in the present moment? I am an inner-directed person so what others think doesn’t make a lot of difference to me. How I felt surely did matter to my Inner peace.

Since there were not any handbook or guide maps into multiple relationships, John and I set about to invite attractive and quality people, whom we met in our daily course of business, to visit, have discussions and show them our plan. We proposed to create an intimate group that would model an alternate lifestyle. Much like the theoretical concepts that Robert H Rimmer based his novels on, i.e.: The Harrad Experiment and The Rebellion of Yale Marratt. When John and I met up with Robert and shared with him that we were, in actuality, living his futurist novel concepts, he was quite surprised.

We relied on nightly therapeutic, extended family group sessions, to answer some of the same questions that I posed and more. It was necessary to examine old attitudes, perceptions and beliefs to see which ones were relevant and which ones should be tossed. Our sessions were conducted more like a fireside chat in the nude to keep us honest and truthful, with spontaneous sex occurring when the desire arose. The group consisted of three males and four females to keep the ratio of more estrogen to testosterone balance while adding more of a feminine touch and feel.

Our group bonding created synergy and fulfilled the basic needs required to have a stronger primary relationship bond. My dear beloved, John always said if you want to keep a marriage together, create a bigger one.