There are three kinds of happiness: the kind you wish you had, the kind you think you have, and the kind that’s unmistakable. Problem is, those who don’t have happiness are looking for it in all the wrong places, and many who think they are happy are actually pleased—a paltry consolation prize. A feather on the sole of the foot may provoke laughter but it hardly brings joy.

Up until recently it appeared that the advertisers had won. People were looking to establish successful lives through goods and services, or as one writer put it, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” Is that to be our legacy, a tombstone surrounded with the gadgets that failed to add any years to our life or—more to the point—life to our years?

In the early l960’s a brilliant and my late partner, John Williamson ran computer models to determine what was wrong to cause everyone so much unhappiness and discontent? Ultimately his model findings would be the foundation to the creative design of Sandstone Retreat/Foundation, where the focus was belief that our minds, spirits, body and soul were loved and respected.

John determined that we were guided by the chatter inside our heads, a false sense of self that deludes us and which handles our problems by giving them names, namely the ego. We built a society on these false assumptions, either naively or cunningly steered by parents, school, books, film, television, advertising and other people’s feedback. And since most of the people on whom we model our behavior also conduct their lives based on false assumptions, we never learn to know anything different. We went about our lives based upon assumptions rather than real experience.

Upon examination, these assumptions turn out to be out of touch with reality. We say with the authority of tradition, ”Everybody knows that it is so,” or, “It has always been that way.” But if we try to analyze an assumption of this kind it falls apart as soon as we touch it. And that is why we prefer not to touch them and sometimes even fiercely defend them. We poor lemmings continue to leap into the sea, confident that there is land within our reach because, “everyone knows that.”

As a result, we end up living under the pressure of countless false fears. We live in a cage that is of our own making, but one that seems real enough so that we do not venture outside of it. We end up restricting, our actions and our choices, and thus strangle our precious potential. All this because of false fears based upon false assumptions.

The activity of ceremonial drumming is a pathway to the heart, leading us to know our true self. The heart reaches a magnetic field 500 times more powerful than our brain. One hour of drumming registers a huge boost to the immune system, and generates emotions of joy and bliss. It works across all cultural conflicts. Recently Cindy Stevens was in Iraq to revive their spirit. It is touching and you can view her drumming at; http://www.ubdrumcircles.com/video.php and join in to be a part of saving the world.

Meditation is another huge threat to the craziness in our lives. We are blessed with great support while heading into the New Year. May you have an exciting new year!


kamasutraWell over a millennium ago, Indian Hinduism treated sex as an art, a science and a spiritual practice. It was not considered a remnant of some dark and ancient bestial behavior, but rather a civilizing force. As such they wrote extensive treatises on how to elevate their sexual potential.

The most famous pieces of Indian literature on sex are the Kamasutra (aphorisms on love) and the Kamashrastra (from kama “pleasure”, and shastra “skill”). This collection of explicit sexual writings, both spiritual and practical, covered most aspects of human courtship and intercourse. The Kamasutra is thought to have been written in its final form sometime between the third and fifth century AD, a period of Indian history when sex epitomized love, pleasure, synergy and happiness. It was a successful strategy, which begs the question why around the 11th or 12th century, India took a conservative turn toward decreased freedom for women and a proscription against premarital and extramarital sex. They wrote a new sex manual suitable for their new order.

In Jewish law, sex is not considered intrinsically sinful or shameful when conducted in marriage, nor is it a necessary evil for the purpose of procreation. Sex is considered a private and holy act between a husband and wife. The residue of sex (as with any lost bodily fluid) was considered ritually unclean outside the body, and required ablution. Perhaps this is how sex became cast as a dirty act, forming an imprint in our brain that must somehow be removed.

Christianity re-emphasized the Jewish attitudes on sexuality with two new concepts. First, there was the reiterated idea that marriage was absolutely exclusive and indissoluble, placing further guidance on divorce and expanding on the reasons and principles behind those laws.

Second, in Old Testament times marriage was almost universal, in continuity with the total matrimony in Eden, but in the New Testament, the trajectory is extended forward to the goal of no marriage in the new heavens and new earth (see Matthew 22). Practically therefore the new age after Jesus now has marriage as only normative, but celibacy is a valuable gift in and of itself.

In present time, it feels as though our free will and identities have been stolen from us. My understanding from birth has been that each of us has a free spirit and entitled to create and live a chosen fruitful life of discovery, adventure, productivity and happiness, without meddlers and the dictates of a false society. This period of an open attitude towards sex reflects love, pleasure, synergy and happiness in their culture.
It was necessary to have a sexual revolution and the reason we pioneered Sandstone Retreat, which became known as the hub of the sexual revolution.

In 1972 we went so far as to create the Sandstone Movie for viewers to look in on members happily living an alternate lifestyle. It just happened that our principals were in sync with Hindu principals and expression of an open attitude towards sex reflects love, pleasure, synergy and happiness in the culture. The Sandstone Movie (only one of a kind) has been re-released on https://www.indieflix.com site. Just go there register (free) and search for “Sandstone.” Enjoy this rare event.


Spiritual FreedomMy good friend and Anthropologist, the late Sally Binford, declared that the human race has been a failed experiment. She stated that human’s shortfall was linked to a failed social consciousness and lack of understanding one’s self. Hopefully, we will prove her wrong. Her words “man is not longed for in this world” still echo in my mind. I view this issue as being non-accepting of our sexuality.

Why did we bury, deep in our consciousness, the fact that we are hyper-sexual beings? Author Christopher Ryan, in his book, SEX at DAWN, compared us to the Bonobo monkeys. The females would enjoy sex throughout the day, with different partners, while they went about their chores. Sex in some cultures is simply a part of their daily routine that is as common as eating or brushing teeth. Most of our culture still follows the path of centuries old repression surrendering to puritanical slavery, as their old reactive and automatic programming dictates.
Sexuality is an integrating force of such scope and magnitude that our culture has overlooked. Sexuality, if accepted, is socially stabilizing to our culture.

Without owning our sexuality we can never be whole people; just fragments here and there. We subject ourselves to easily be controlled by other people and corporations seeking power to manipulate us for their own purposes.

Our Sandstone experience convinced each and every one of us to embrace the liberation and exuberance we felt; from the opportunity to walk around nude in a beautiful natural setting away from the chatter of artificiality. We loved our bodies and enjoyed the light breeze blowing on bare skin. Add the freedom of open sexuality and the past centuries of sexual repression goes away like a puff of smoke.

The conclusion of the story is while we were enjoying our new sexual freedom, we became strong individuals with newly developed principals and related to our peers with equality and interdependence. Dependencies in the way we had known them simply disappeared.

A Sandstone Kaleidoscope

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As I sit here typing in the nightly silence of Nevada desert, my mind is whisked away on the magic carpet of memory to Sandstone retreat. There the sun is shining and couples are laughing in the courtyard. I feel a hand rest on my shoulder…John’s hand…and I look around half expecting to see him standing behind me, his unruly blond hair spilling around his smiling face like a lion’s mane. I look around and see nothing but the office hat rack standing in the shadows.

Don’t feel sorry for me. I can take these mental journeys without regret, having come to the conclusion that Sandstone was more of a state of mind than a place. Once you have had the Sandstone experience, it never truly ends. John is still over my shoulder, though we’ve had to be together in a different way since the funeral.

You too can have the Sandstone experience, but don’t search for it with a map. It starts deep inside, in the person that hides behind the mask society and self-doubt forces one to wear. Let me tell you how we found it, and perhaps it will help you venture out toward new horizons.

There were unspoken dynamics inherent to the Sandstone lifestyle. As a social change organization, it encouraged personal growth through embracing positive change, openness, and flexibility. It was the quest to reach one’s potential that energized and structured the community. The serenade from the song birds started each day and set the tone for what followed. The rest of the day was a blank canvas waiting for the creative and playful impulses of the residents to fill in. What followed was spontaneous, but it was never anarchy. There is a deeply suppressed roadmap in human nature that draws us toward a very different order and pattern from the limits our so-called “civilization” puts on our humanity.

We gave interested couples an overview of what it was like to live in the community and what would be expected of them. It was imperative that all family members contributed to our common goal; to support and maintain all functions of the retreat.
Generally prospective members would first join the club to get a feel for the (lay of the land so to speak) and assess the flow of energies and activities of what to expect. If they were comfortable with the energies and felt they may want to be a part of the alternate life style inner community, next was to determine the skills they brought, their flexibility and above all possess a positive outlook on life. Next question was “how did they see themselves” and what could they offer the community.

It was a 15 acre estate that required continual maintenance from cleaning of the Olympic sized swimming pool, to scrubbing the drive ways to washing Eucalyptus acorns off the pavement that stabbed us in the bare feet while running from the main building to the pool house. Whatever needed to be done it was imperative someone be there to rise to fill that need. Examples: I was responsible for the club operations and John dealt with all media matters.

Visiting day members were there to enjoy the peaceful and calm retreat while sunbathing in the nude to soak up some delightful sunshine, relax and swim in the heated pool with temps set at 93 to 94 degrees.

Night time at Sandstone Retreat we hosted parties a couple (couples only) nights weekly. Sometimes more often! Everyone showed up dressed but quickly ditched their clothes to get into the swing of things. Dinner was enjoyed in the nude with much good conversation in the living room about Alternate living. After dinner many retired to the Ballroom to engage in sex, some in dancing under the twirling disco ball with a projector of wild colorful patterns on nude bodies. We loved our bodies and struggle to be whole beings. It was a cherished time in our pleasure palace. Nothing had ever been available like Sandstone Retreat, therefore, no one ever forgot their experiences at Sandstone Retreat as it was a one and only of its kind.

I Led The Sexual Revolution

You couldn’t imagine a more unlikely candidate to lead a sexual revolution!  In the days before the stork had a GPS, a baby girl intended for Malibu, Honolulu, or Paris ended up delivered to a small farm in Missouri. Yes, Missouri…we call it God’s Country because nobody else would build there.

Even as a little girl among the corn stalks, I knew I didn’t fit in.  Problem was, the world was a giant jigsaw puzzle, and places where I didn’t fit were a dime a dozen.  I was restless, a salmon who wanted to head back to the headwaters of a stream where I belonged but had never swum before.  I went into the business world…got a lot of chops and busted a lot of moves. I had what it took to succeed as a woman in a man’s world, and yet I was miserable.   I had the aching certainty I would know what I liked when I saw it, but had no clue where to begin.

At last I found that mystical place, that sense of completion, in a man named John Williamson. I call him a man…he was more like an idea, a movement, a category of one. I came to sell him an insurance policy, and he sold me a great destiny.

taisau / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

John was a pied piper and he played a tune that was strange and wild, yet beautiful. I followed it and didn’t look back. What was most wonderful about that haunting melody was that he admitted to me in bits and pieces that I was the one that inspired it. We were complimentary…two halves of a perfect relationship. It was to capture some semblance of that relationship in permanent form that led me to wrestle with marriage.  Wrestle I did, like Jacob wrestling with the angel.  Like Jacob I was seeking a blessing. When I found what I was looking for, I was possessed with a drive to tell other little girls in Missouri that they too have a homeland where their spirits can roam free.  If I help even one, that would be a fitting tribute to John and wellspring of satisfaction to me.

Life with John at Sandstone was a dream for me that had come true.  When I awoke I found myself in a “back to nature setting”, a love community like the one described in Robert Heinlein’s book, Stranger in a Strange Land.  We were all nude and practiced open sexually without guilt or shame, from jealousy and possessiveness.  Honesty, openness and mutual respect were our garments, so we had little need for privacy.  Love is the most powerful emotion on the planet.  It begins with learning to love ourselves, and it naturally follows that the love with us attracts the love of others. The rest takes care of itself.

Many revolutions throughout the history of mankind have ended in revenge, repression, and disappointment. This revolution ended with the healing magic of touch. On that hopeful note I end my first post!